


Werewolf 101

by orphan_account



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:46:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27960236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Written for the 'parody' prompt
Kudos: 2
Collections: Gen Prompt Bingo Round 19





	Werewolf 101

Stiles waved Scott down in the halls between classes. "Hey Scott! Wanna hang out after practice and play video games?"

"Sorry buddy. I'm meeting up with Derek. He's giving me werewolf lessons."

"Hey no problem. I'm glad you joined his pack and he's helping you learn to werewolf."

Scott nodded. "We're working on my brooding. How am I doing?" He showed Stiles his best dark and tragic brooding face.

Stiles shook his head. "It looks like you're trying to solve an algebra problem. Or possibly deciding what to have for lunch."

Scott sighed. "Yeah, I need to work on that. And my sinister lurking. But I'm already done with the 'doomed romance with a hunter' bit'."

"Wait - that's mandatory?"

"Oh sure. It's a classic. Romeo and Juliet. Buffy and Angel. Me and Allison. In fact Allison has agreed to go out with Isaac for a while to help us out."

Stiles looked puzzled. "What about Erica and Boyd?"

"Chris Argent was going to ask around, but Derek said they could skip it if they agreed to be a couple. But hey, while you're here we also need to talk about your place in the pack."

"We do?"

"Yup. There are a few ways we can do this. We can all be super mean to you and ignore you and kick you out of the pack. You get really really depressed, then go away and learn magic and come back all covered with cool tattoos."

"Magic and tattoos sound good but I don't like the part with the shunning and the depression. What else you got?"

"You can be in a relationship with Derek."

Stiles perked up. "I could do that."

Scott nodded. "Then you become the pack Mom. You have do a lot of cooking and cleaning and patch us up when we get hurt. And you have to refer to us 'puppies'. Or 'the pups'."

Stiles frowned. "Pack Mom? Puppies? We couldn't just be a regular couple?"

"I'm afraid not. Also, if you get with Derek you'll probably have to have a baby."

"WHAT! HOW!"

Scott shrugged and gave Stiles a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. "Sorry dude. I don't make the rules."


End file.
